7 Key Questions for Living Life Well

Life is both wonderful and tough. We experience positive things along the way, but we also get hurt and wounded. We encounter difficulties, disappointments, and rejections. We lose loved ones and friends.

How we deal with the tough stuff matters. Our personal wellbeing depends on it.

We all tend to wonder, "Am I doing okay?" If you're wondering how you're doing in life and whether you're handling things well, here are 7 questions to ask yourself.

1. "Am I processing my emotions in healthy ways?

Processing what's happening inside us begins with expressing it. We talk about it - to ourselves and to a few other people we trust. We air what's roaming around in our minds and hearts. 

Many process their thoughts and emotions through writing. Some keep a journal. Others write letters or stories. Some pen memoirs and get their memories and experiences down on paper. 

Others draw, paint, or sculpt to express what's happening inside them. Others find exercising to be a good way to find a "zone" that gives them the time and space to think.

If we're processing our emotions well, chances are we're healing and growing.

2. "Am I trying to do the hard stuff alone?"

Most of us value being independent. However, we've never been independent (in the strictest sense of the word) and never will be. We're designed for relationship. We need each other.

Our interdependence becomes especially obvious when we're facing difficulty. We desperately need the presence, companionship, and perspective of others. Ironically, we tend to withdraw at the very times we need the most support, encouragement, and help.

Reaching out to others in times of hardship isn't weakness. True strength and courage lie in being real with ourselves and a few other people about what's happening in our lives. 

3. "Am I guarding my heart from unhealthy influences?"

A basic maxim for positive living is, "Get around people who are helpful to you and limit your exposure to those who aren't."

We all need trustworthy, safe people in our lives — people who accept us as we are. We need good listeners who don't try to fix us or give advice we haven't asked for.

Negative influences tend to be like poison to our hearts. If we get judged, criticized, belittled, or micro-managed enough, our hearts naturally pull back and begin to go into hiding. We can't afford to let that happen.

Our hearts are our most prized possession. We take our hearts seriously by filling our lives with positive, healthy people. 

4. "Am I releasing guilt or embracing it?"

Most of us are familiar with guilt. It comes knocking early in life. It wriggles its way in. After a while, we begin hearing guilt's accusations in our own voices.

"I should have..." "If only..." "I wish I hadn't..." "It's my fault."

Once guilt gets entrenched, it infects our relationships. Nothing is untouched by its malicious influence.

We must find ways to show guilt the door. We accept responsibility for our mistakes, make amends, and move on. We usher guilt out of our hearts and learn to deny it entrance in the future.

5. "Am I serving others for the greater good?"

Service is great exercise for our hearts. When we contribute, we grow. And we don't have to be at our best to make a positive difference.

If we're willing, our own personal challenges can become part of the fuel that drives our service to others. This is one way of using the tough stuff of life for the greater good. 

6. "Have I accepted myself as I am?"

Here is an important truth we need to embrace: "I'm imperfect and that's okay."

Life is an up-and-down, back-and-forth journey. Rather than being a level superhighway, life is more like a beautiful yet rocky path through a thick forest. It's both challenging and rewarding.

In fact, it's rewarding precisely because it's challenging.

Accepting ourselves as we are can free us to risk, make changes, grow, and succeed. Embracing our imperfections liberates us to laugh at mistakes, get up quickly, and learn to fail forward. 

If we can accept ourselves, we can also accept others. This gives us all room to breathe, journey together, and grow.

7. "Have I forgiven others and myself?"

In times of trouble, we naturally ask "Why?" The next question is often, "Who's responsible for this?"

We're good at the blame game. We quickly assign responsibility for anything negative or painful. Between our own personal guilt and the tendency to blame others, we can make life difficult for everyone – both ourselves and others.

The antidote, for both guilt and blaming, is forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn't saying it didn't matter, but rather that we're not going to let what happened to control us. Forgiveness empowers our hearts to heal, grow, and overcome hardship. When we forgive (others or ourselves), we release ourselves to move forward.

None of us are perfect. We all start where we are now and take the next step. As we move forward, here are some things to tell ourselves:

We will process what's happening inside us well.

We will surround ourselves with safe, positive people.

We will refuse to be driven by guilt and instead embrace our imperfections.

We will forgive quickly and free ourselves to serve for the greater good.

We will overcome adversity and use hardship as fuel for good.

One day, one moment, one step at a time…